Ok...so I started the Love & Logic class last night at Reeths-Puffer middle school. I had decided
before I even started the course, that I wanted to take atleast 1 thing from each class time and ponder it fully. And then if I agree with it, I will apply it to my own situation with my children.
For those who don't really know what the Love & Logic course is about, check out http://www.loveandlogic.com/. It was started in 1977 by Jim Fay. He lectures around the U.S.
Funny, in the course, they say NOT to lecture our kids constantly, yet he lecures parents continually!! Ah..the irony of it all.)
The gist of Love & Logic is this:
Love and Logic is a philosophy of raising and teaching children which allows adults to be happier, empowered, and more skilled in the interactions with children. Love allows children to grow through their mistakes. Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices. Love and Logic is a way of working with children that puts parents and teachers back in control, teaches children to be responsible, and prepares young people to live in the real world, with its many choices and consequences.
So what did I learn last night that I could use?
Well, I learned that as an adult, I should be able to set firm limits in loving ways. Ways without anger, lecture or threats. How will I do this? Well, when one of my kids causes any kind of problem, I can hand it back to them in a loving way. If I use an empathetic response to their behavior, such as saying, "Uh oh...this is so sad" or "Ohhhh this is hard" instead of "Why did you do that?!" or "Are you trying to drive me crazy today?!", the child is learning to own what he/she did. If I lecture, then I made the problem about me. The child must learn that he/she controls what happens based on the choices they make. Make sense?
So, my next step is to try and apply this concept and see how it works for our family. I will try and love/teach without lecturing constantly and without anger. I also will make sure that we don't skip our family prayers each night. I didn't grow up in a household that did this consistently and the same goes for my hubby. We tend to forget to do this with our kids for long stretches at a time. Kids learn by example, so I better ship shape up! After all, "A family that prays together, stays together" right?
Anyway, back to the class.....I have such a wide age range of children that pretty much anything the class touches on each week, is going to apply to me. I have a teen, 2 pre-teens, 1 elementary age and one infant. So, I'm excited to learn more and try to be a better parent. I think it's a big step just by attending the class. My children already see that by taking the class, I have their well-being in my heart and on my mind.
2 Whaddaya have to say about this post?:
Awwww...that is so cool! Good for you! I think it's great that you're doing that! It sounds really cool, I should probably be taking classes like that. I like the concept of giving kids the responsibility for owning up to their actions and learning that they always have choices. I have a hard time not taking stuff personal or aming it about me, so I should start practicing that. We teach our kids soooo many things, its frightening isn't it? I totally support you! Thanks for the reminder about prayer too, Joel and I need to step it up a notch!
P.S. I love your blog! It's so cute and fun to read! I'm your fan!
I LOVE love & logic. Not only does it make sense intellectually, but it WORKS! Anyone who knows my son (hee hee) knows what a challenge he can be sometimes, especially in dealing with his "unique" perceptions due to his disorder.
Not only is he learning to make it in the real world (always a struggle) but I'm also able to stay calm and in control. THAT'S the #1 reason why I think this works so well. We sympathize, they know they are heard, but they are still held responsible and know that you're there to support them as they struggle through the consequences. No anger, no blame... just actions and consequences.
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