Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Love & Logic worked!

I wish I had a photo of my teenage daughter's face when I pulled a Love & Logic trick on her last night! Ok, so it wasn't a trick. It was more of a "learning experience" for her. Heh heh. She wasn't quickly going to put her things away where they belong, so I pulled the "if I have to do it for you, you have to pay me for my time" trick. I have other things to do you see. If I have to take time out just to clean up that mess, then she has to pay me for my precious time. I don't give her an allowance (trust me, they do have chores though) , so she would have to pay me by doing chores that she normally wouldn't have to do. Such as cleaning out the car, pulling weeds or washing walls. At first I felt some resistance from her...like she really didn't believe that I would actually make her pay!... but then she caught on that I MEANT it. Har har. She quickly did her task rolling her eyes of course. But I don't care about the eye rolling...the task got done and I bet she will think twice before she leaves her junk laying around.
Next trick....my 2 pre-teens were fighting about how dim their night light should be while they sleep at night. Well........this is so sad. Bummer. I'm really tired and if I have to do the compromising for them, then they will have to pay me for my time. They didn't care, so I settled it by putting the lamp as dim as I wanted it to be. Now, of course they had to go to bed just then, so they will be paying me when they get home from school tonight. They will be pulling a few weeds and then picking up trash in our minivan. I'm sure there will be resistance. I won't be saying, " I told you this was going to happen" or anything like that. I'll just be empathising with them. So sad. Bummer. I love you too much to argue.
No, not all discipline revolves around paying Mom, but last night, those 2 tricks fit the purpose. Kids need to realize that they are responsible for their own choices and have the power to help themselves in many cases.

Did I mention that my kids HATE Love & Logic now? Boy, Tuesday nights are so fun!

2 Whaddaya have to say about this post?:

Caity said...

You go girl! Good for you! I think it's so great to teach kids responsibility for their actions. If that works that well, I'll have to remember it!

Leanne said...

Thanks Caity....I'm learning how and trying to teach them that when they get older no one will be there to wipe up their messes (figuratively and literally!), so they need to learn now to take care of themselves. I guess the point of Love & Logic is to teach them when they are young. Let them make mistakes and pay the consequences because the things they get in trouble for when they are young are much smaller than the troubles they COULD get into when they are older. Makes sense to me!
Oh, by the way, Molly went right ahead cleaning out the car last night but Macie (of course) gave me some resistance. But once she realized that she wasn't getting out of it, she started to pick those weeds! Yessssss